Making over me

Well this is definitely not getting off to a great start! I'm trying, honestly I am! However, Ash decided to jump start our (he needs to lose weight too) diets with a cleanse.

Don't get me wrong. I think a cleanse is a great idea and I wholeheartedly believe in them. What I don't like is the fact that minus the black walnut hull tincture and wormwood pills (don't ask!) I basically did a cleanse while pregnant. I've just started to get my freedom back in that area and I LOATHE giving it up again.

In a proper cleanse, there is no caffeine, no alcohol, no sugar (natural sugars are fine), no smoking (if you smoke), and tons and tons of water. I don't have a problem with giving up sweets. Luckily I've never really had a sweet tooth. Except when I was pregnant. The alcohol thing...well, yes, I'd like a glass of wine or a cold beer, but realistically, it's not that big of deal for me to give it up for three weeks. Drinking tons of water? No problem! The one that is absolutely 100% killing me is the no caffeine. Without my morning coffee I wander around the house forgetting what I'm doing and bumping into things. Not to mention how cranky I am.

At this point I don't even care if I've lost any weight or not. I just want my coffee! I did weigh myself at the start of the cleanse (ouch!) so I have my starting weight. I was going to weigh myself once a week, but I think I'm going to skip it this week as I would be incredibly disappointed if I hadn't lost anything. Each Friday I'll weigh myself, so hopefully next week I'll see some changes.

Since I'm on the food and diet topic, looks like there's another bread lover in the family!

In Touch With The Much ~ I've been inspired!

So over the last couple of months, both on my facebook and on my support board there has been a lot of discussion about "muchness." What is "muchness"? It's getting back (or staying) in touch with that little thing each and every day that puts a spring in your step and a smile on your face.

For many of us baby loss mothers, we lose our "muchness". It gets swallowed up in the pit of grief and despair that takes over our lives. Getting back in touch with the "much" is part of the healing process. A way to reclaim our lives - altered though they may be.

So where did this all start? With the divine Miss Tova. You can check out her muchness blog here to see how many people she has inspired.

She has definitely inspired me! 21 months after losing Kaycie I am ready to move forward and get the "much" back! Which begs the question...what is the "much" in my life? For the divine Miss T, it's sparkles. Lot's and lot's of colour and sparkles. I got to thinking about my friends and family. I think my beautiful sister would say her "muchness" is horseback riding. A day that she doesn't ride feels incomplete to her. For my amazing best friend, I think her "muchness" would be running. Her chance to be alone with her thoughts and music and let everything go for a couple of hours. (Although I'm sure she would also say that a great pair of shoes runs a close second in the "muchness" department.)

My "muchness"...that's got to be decorating, renovating, and most importantly, landscaping! I've always loved makeover shows and home makeover shows even more so. Taking something run down or in desperate need of a fix and making it "much" more again! So I have a few projects in the works.

1. A front flower bed. This will follow in a future blog post, but the front yard is in desperate need of a fix!

2. The back deck. Don't even get me started on what the previous owners had done to it. Again, more pictures to come!

3. Me. Yuck...yup, I need a makeover! Not so much in the clothes, makeup, and hair departments, but I need to lose this baby weight in order to really get back to my "muchness"! (Doubtful that pics will follow of this one, but you never know!)

Stay tuned as I spend the summer getting back in touch with my "muchness!"

Winter Babies (Alternately titled: Google is my enemy)

So somehow in the last 10 years of my life I've forgotten the art of figuring out things on my own. It's quite common to hear me say: "Google it." As I'm sure it is for many people. Don't know how to tie a tie? Google it. Need to unplug a sink and don't have any Drano? Google it. While this is great in many aspects, it can also be the complete downfall of someone like me who researches things to excess.

The last couple of days spring has actually started to (finally!) arrive here. I've started taking Miss P out in her stroller every afternoon for some fresh air for her and exercise for me. Of course, since she was born in October we spent most of the winter holed up inside. Needless to say, the very bright sun has been causing some squinting for her. Yasmin's boys were both born in the winter as well and she mentioned that this is very common for winter babies. They're not used to the bright lights etc. So...I decided to Google "winter babies."

Wow, was that a mistake! According to some studies (I don't know which ones, I glanced but wasn't really reading), winter babies do worse in life, blah blah blah. Then there were stories that winter babies are larger and healthier than summer babies. Who knew there was such a debate on when kids were born! Seriously, google it for yourself if you're that bored. Google can be such a blessing and such a curse at the same time!

In actuality, I googled the wrong thing. What I really need is some cute baby sunglasses for Miss P. Quickly realizing my error I redid my google search for "baby sunglasses" and look what I found...




Are they not the cutest!?! They're called Babybanz. Definitely ordering a pair of these today. We're ready for summer (and they'll totally match her wetsuit).

I'm Back!

Life is finally settling into a routine and I am ready to get back to blogging. Both for my own sanity and to keep my friends and family updated on mine and Prairie's life.

As many of you know, I set my blog to private for awhile. I needed the time and privacy in order to get used to having a newborn and do some emotional healing. In addition, I had an influx of emails from some crazy very nice ladies who seemed to take exception to my opinion. That's all well and good, but please remember that this blog is mine. My opinions, my life, my situation. If you have a problem with what I write, feel free to write your own blog (which I'm sure I won't read).

If you have a problem with the decisions I made regarding Kaycie, feel free to keep your opinions to yourself. I'm not going to post any comments that call me a murderer or in any way negate the horrific decision that too many of us have to make. I've said it before and it is worth repeating: Unless you have had a doctor look you in the eyes and say "I'm sorry, your baby's diagnosis is incompatible with life." You have no right to discuss what you "might" do.

One last quick note...after reading the first 15 emails/comments calling me a murderer, I did a mass delete. If you left me a comment that was supportive and/or had a legitimate statement in it, I sincerely apologize for not reading it. A few bad apples truly did spoil the barrell.

Now that that is cleaned up, moving on to better and brighter days! Can't wait to catch you all up on life and get back to the rambling thoughts that roll through my head on a daily basis!