Mini Meltdowns

It's official, they've started. I got lucky with Kaycie, I wasn't overly emotional. In fact, until my life was shattered I don't think I shed a single tear. Not this time. Nope, I'll cry over everything and anything. Songs on the radio, sappy commercials, an inadvertent hurtful comment, anything! The tears just well up in my eyes and spill over. I am completely incapable of controlling them. Disappointing news from a friend (thinking of you Z!) will have me sobbing in my car the entire way home from work about the unfairness of life.

Obviously, working in a male dominated industry, I'm finding these tears and emotional outbursts less than appealing. I work very hard at shaking off the "she's a girl" stereotype that comes part and parcel with working with all men. There's usually alot of teasing that comes along with being one of only two females at work, and usually I deal with it with grace and style - or so I tell myself anyway. Not this week. This week any teasing comments from the guys usually earns them a glare and if I'm really annoyed, a "shut up" as I walk past. One guy earned himself an earful when he told me: "you're really hot when you do your hair and make-up." Oh. My. God. Do you have a death wish? I look like ass, I feel like ass, and my stress level is through the roof! Did it ever occur to these pea-brained idiots that I prefer to not look hot when I work with all men every day?!?

And then...the sperm donor decided to get in on the fun. He had the nerve to say something to me regarding "my situation." Excuse me? My situation? Let's review shall we?

I moved an hour and a half away from all my friends and family at his request. Although I will admit to wanting a fresh start and being a willing participant. He repeatedly tells me he loves me, responds favorably on numerous different occasions to the idea of having more kids, brings up ideas for the future like travel and work, then breaks up with me when I tell him I'm pregnant because: "I can't go through this again." But yes Mr Sperm Donor, you're right, this is "my" situation. What do you think I did? Jerk you off while you were sleeping then use a turkey baster to fertilize myself? Argh! It is seriously one of those weeks where anyone with a penis should stay very very far away from me. I've had it!