For my Little One

Dear Little One,

I promise to let you run through the sprinklers on a hot summer day. Not one of those new fancy sprinklers built just for kids, but the good old-fashioned kind that spray water in an arc and offer all different kinds of jumping choices. We will sit on the deck and drink home made lemonade and complain about the mosquitoes. I’ll try not to embarrass you by bragging about you too much. I’ll never give you a horrible hair cut right before your school pictures.

You’ll learn to plant a garden and that it’s ok to sit in the middle of it and eat fresh peas until your stomach hurts. We’ll make cookies at Christmas and we’ll both eat too much cookie dough. Sometimes I’ll let you pick out a sugar cereal at the store. I’ll look too long at you in the rear view mirror when I drop you off at camp. Speaking of camp, I won’t write your name in your underwear or anything geeky like that. I’ll take you camping and let you ride in the back of grandpa’s truck, maybe even on the tailgate… but probably not. If a movie as good as Star Wars ever comes out again, I’ll let you camp out in line to watch it… but I probably won’t let you dress up like Yoda (I don’t want you to get beat up).

I’ll take you to Disney World when you are old enough to remember it. When it's your birthday I’ll take homemade cupcakes to your classroom (that is if you want me to). If you need braces, I promise to fork over the big money to get you the invisible kind. I probably won’t be the “cool mom” on the street. Sometimes I’ll have to take away your toys and ground you, or put you in timeout. Sometimes I’ll tell you, “no”. But I’ll let you unwrap a gift on Christmas Eve. I’ll cherish the smell of you when I bring you home from the hospital.

We will go down to the shelter and pick out a dog…a scruffy one that no one else wants but who desperately needs a child’s hug and love. I’ll teach you to say “please” and “thank you” and that any adult who isn’t a family member should always be referred to as “sir” or “ma’am”. You’ll thank me eventually when you come to understand that politeness and a smile will get you places in this world. You can pretend you don’t know who I am if we see someone you like at the grocery store, but just once I will have to embarrass you. It’s my right as a parent.

Little One, I’m going to love you as much as possible. I’ll try not to screw you up. When you go through your, “paint the room black and listen to emo music stage”, I’ll still make you come to the dinner table. We all go through those stages. I’ll never give up on you or turn my back on you regardless of who you are or who you become. I’ll never compare you to what might have been with Kaycie, but I’ll always love Kaycie. I’ll tell you about her when the time is right. She’ll be your big sister. We will be a happy family - or at least only mildly dysfunctional. I can't wait to meet you and hold you and love you forever.

Love Mom