First of all, I am very pleased to say that all went well with Mom's surgery. The surgery itself took about two hours, another hour in recovery, and an hour after that she was up and tentatively walking around! She's had no complications so far and is healing nicely. Recovery is always fairly long after something like this, but I have no doubt she is going to sail through it. One more hurdle down!
Today and tomorrow are my boring days...thank goodness. Time to myself with some housecleaning and laundry tossed in for the added fun factor. Yuck. Wednesday will be the best day and I can't wait! I am off to the city for a (very) long awaited hair appointment. I also get to have lunch with Yasmin. It will be so fun to be able to relax and catch up while not at a doctor's appointment or hospital. Then...her daughter's grade 8 grad. Do I ever feel old! With the way my emotions have been lately I'm sure I'll be crying more than Yasmin!
Thursday will be tough. Kaycie's first angel day. My friends tell me that each year on their children's birthdays they think back to that day. To what they were doing, how they were feeling, to what happened every single minute. Unfortunately, it will be the same for me. I remember every second and every minute. How do I find any happy memories in what was the worst day of my life? It's important to remember but so hard to go back to that place. My sister gave me an aromatherapy diffuser (something I"ve been in love with since I first saw) as a present for Kaycie's Angel day. What a perfect gift. I plan on having it running for the smell and relaxation and sit down and write a long letter to Kaycie. (Thanks sis!) I also think that I'll take the dogs for a nice long walk and just spend some time on a deserted country road crying my eyes out. It sounds so sad, but I think it is desperately needed.
What an up and down ride this is, and no where near over yet!
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Hey Keri - I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you and your daughter. The Angel-day is so hard. Like you said, it will be full with remembering every horrible minute. But I know Kaycie is up there somewhere watching down on you and your new little bean - not that that makes it any easier. Trust me, I know! I know you would give anything for this day coming up to mean nothing, and that a few short months later, you would have gotten to meet your healthy little girl. I am so sorry you have to go through this, but know that you aren't alone. I think your plan for the day sounds perfect and beautiful!! Thinking of you always!
ReplyDeletexoxo - Katie
Keri,
ReplyDeleteEveryone deals with painful memories in different ways.I think your way sounds like a great idea.Happy or sad, Kaycie must be remember and re-lived.I miss her EVERYDAY and she is in my heart always.This is how our angel lives.SHe has changed our lives forever.This aunty remembers her angel day like it was yesterday. I love you Keri and I hope you find strength in my words and my support.
Noone will ever truly understand how you feel but as the quote says.........
"Some say you are too painful to remember.
I say you are too PRECIOUS to forget."
"A moment in your arms........ a lifetime in our hearts."
As for your first comment, I texted your mom today and she did some weeding! LMAO! she is one strong women. LOL!
ilove you
Yasmin xoxoo